Friday 4 December 2020

Im not the sweet girl

please listen to this song now because I'm listening to this song while typing this whole entry keke

👇



now let's open our mind and let the peace in, lol I'm kidding, no way to feel peace while listening to that baddest song. you can only realize how a song can make you feel so badass aight keke

(ï¾’ ̄▽ ̄)︻┳═一

duh, I'm so lame. I decided to keep things to myself yet why do I let things around keep coming?

at this rate, I don't even care what others' opinions about me. I have always been like this, it's not that I do not care about other people but I think caring too much could bring troubles around. It is not the same as being kind. You can always be kind but maybe you can care less about them? idk I think that being true is the most important. 

( ̄~ ̄;)

I was born to always think that I can not let myself look weak because being weak is not what I want. I remember when I was 7, I had a fistfight with my cousin and ended up with a swollen eye on the right side. I was really hoping nobody will notice and ask the weird thing on my face at school because I know I barely have friends at that time. I was quiet back then and I hate boys very much because they always find ways to tease me. VERY SILLY. I thought. 

(;⌣̀_⌣́)

little girls always spoke their minds, isn't it? Ahh, why those little girls ended up attacking me with their multiple questions and started staring at my face. I can't bear it. I should not tell them what has happened to my eye. They are just classmates, why should I tell them everything?. Besides, I do not want them to think that I was weak for having that bruise. I simply can not let that loose. I can't stand their questions anymore and finally, I cried. 

.・゚゚・(/ω\)・゚゚・.

That was the only thing that I can do. A 7 y/o girl can do. I thought. I cried my heart out without caring for people watching nearby. Haha, I still remember those scared and staring faces. That scene came out of nowhere, isn't it?. 

(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)

Just forget it already haha. Why I always remember the embarrassing memories? It's just that... I think... that was exactly... the moment... where I decided that I do not want to be weak because it's embarrassing enough to be weak and crying in front of people. Also, thanks to those people. I am who I am today. After that event, I was taking this thing seriously, I toughen up my heart and seal it to never let lose those feeling of weakness again. I must stand up for myself, that's how I must carry myself forward. 

___〆(・∀・)

That's why I care less for the people around me. I saved the special seats for special people around me, you know? Oh I already have them ♡( ◡‿◡ ) 

Also, I think it will not hurt too much if I act kind (honestly) and stay true to myself right? Besides, the encounter with random, kind, and nice people is something that I am looking forward to! It would be nice to find one. One that stands with you believing the same thing. Ahh, I hope you all will find one too in future eh? hihi

(⁀á—¢⁀)


bye-bye 

( ̄▽ ̄)ノ

oh, here the cute version of the baddest. i love this version muchh. rainych you go girll (≧◡≦) ♡






Friday 26 July 2019

Road to Degree #1

The last post was in last year :p
It's okay i will only post whenever i feel i want to.
Many things were keeping me busy and i bet it'll continue until inshaAllah next year. at least until the end of next year. huhu

There are so many things that i wanna share but i bet, time wont allows me to. oh Gosh, it's good to have a blog, where people can barely watch you and you dont care if people are not watching, it's a good thing. I mean, i have diary/journal books but i failed to keep myself discipline with it. 

Being someone with limited social media has given a great effect on me. especially for my peace. It's true. I have no basic social networking such Twitter and Instagram. I had them and already terminate all of them accept Facebook which i rarely use. I do not regret the decision i made, i was grateful because i did it. Im freeing myself from those for almost a year now. Yes, i remember the feeling when i decided it at first. I felt terrified, bored and almost fell to recreate them back and, no. Im not going to create them again until i dai. wkwkw

I am actually in the middle of semester break, im still busy with my final year project. Im going back to U next week. oh yes, in the middle of sem break, im going to continue my life as a final year student. WAIT. I did join an organisation which works under our program to gain funds and to buy tickets to Japan. I think we're going to do Industrial Training in Japan! InshaaAllah, aamiin. That's why i told ya that im keeping myself busy. I dont even have time to find boyfriend :p

dont have any idea to write, goodbye pipel!